Motivation, Self-Help, Thoughts

When Stillness Stings

I was just reading that we should all find an hour in our day–find it, steal it,  covet it, and make the time for it–to disconnect in some way from our stress and hyper-connectivity. We should seek out a pond, go for a walk, read a book, meet a friend, or actually stop to smell the flowers, as trite as that sounds. In fact, just the other day, I stopped to smell a white hydrangea, and then I noticed that there was a wasp on it. And I thought, “Really? This is what happens when I stop to smell the flowers? I get stung by a wasp?”

And maybe that’s the point! Stay with me here…

Maybe we keep this maniacal pace, filling our days with 40 hour work weeks, kids’ activities and carpools, gym workouts, Facebook postings, and phone swiping just so that we don’t get STUNG by what lurks beneath: what happens when we are still.

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Photo by Suneo1999 on Pexels.com

When we are, emotions surface, thoughts pervade, lists unravel, daydreaming happens. Some of this can be quite positive and inspirational, like the dream of a family camping trip (well, no, scratch that–that sounds miserable and sticky; I’m already itching); or the dream of having a baby or finally mastering the guitar. Conversely, these emerging thoughts can be dark, even scary, such as unease with a friendship or relationship, a lurking sense you may not be living the life you want to live. And you’re stuck. So you keep moving; you connect.

What do we do when we see wasps? We run to avert the sting. We run from it before it gets us, waving our hands around and screaming, like we are on fire. We do this too in relationships, don’t we? We run from them or break up with people before they can break up with us. Or, we disparage ourselves and self-deprecate in front of others (okay, I do), so we can beat them to the punch. I hurt me before you hurt me.

Maybe we should stop and feel the burn, the pain.

I have a healing wasp sting on my wrist right now. It’s small in diameter, about two centimeters, and it’s pink from where I itched off the scab.

Sometimes a scab needs to be itched off to heal.

Doesn’t time heal all wounds? I’m waiting for an answer on that one. But I need to acknowledge these wounds first, in the stillness.

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Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

2 thoughts on “When Stillness Stings”

  1. Alexandra this lovely post really resonated with me. Does time heal all wounds? I thought about this one and came to the conclusion that it doesn’t for me. I still carry scars whose scabs can be scraped off in the right circumstances. But isn’t that the point? Maybe I’m a slow learner. Each time this happens I learn a little more about myself and ways to cope. I’d say that time ameleriorates wounds rather than healing them.

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    1. Hi Robyn, I am glad it resonated with you! I hear you; I still have many battle scars that haven’t healed, but maybe I haven’t yet reached the “time” one meant by “time heals all wounds.” Is the time in that time frame seven years, six months, eighty years? We may not know till later! We can hope. That’s the good thing. There is hope…hope that we can heal from these scars. I think a few scabs is not a bad thing; otherwise, when would we know when we are truly happy, if we are always happy? It’s good to have some waves, right? xo

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