Motivation, Thoughts

I want to do more, but I need more me’s!

Here’s all the things I want to do. And, I realize I need like four more of me to do them, which is probably a scary thing for the world, and especially those around me…

  1. I want to be in this play called Vanya and Sonia and Masha and Spike at Cotuit Center for the Arts. It’s a Christopher Durang play, and it is so super funny, and they asked me to do it.  I can’t do it, simply because, well, it’s four nights a week of rehearsal, and I have two kids with me six nights a week. Oh, and I work full-time. And there is only one me.

me

2. I want to finish writing my second novel. Okay, so I’m on page fifty, and I feel so stalled, despite the fact that it’s coming along really well. It’s about three different women living in Falmouth, MA, and we see all three of their perspectives. A tragedy brings them all together. Sound familiar?! #trite Well, it’s not, because it’s MINE, all new, with a fresh perspective on it! #Freshfaces. But I need to get past page fifty. This needs to be published by November. Well, or so I said.

3. I want to write a stand-up comedy show and actually perform it. I have never done stand-up, to be clear. I did tons of improv at #UprightCitizensBrigade on a Harold Team and also in a show called Sitcom at #ImprovBoston. But, stand-up would be new. I think I can do it. Oh, if there’s also another me–and I take a beta blocker, oh, and don’t eat for a day.

4. I want to stop living in the past. This doesn’t really require an extra me, but, perhaps a *new and improved* me. I realized that I do this hindsight thing a lot lately. For example, this weekend, I was in Boston in a beautiful Back Bay apartment with my old roommate and current friend. We used to live in a similar apartment (187 Beacon Street) when we were 22, right after college. So we were headed out for the night, walking down the stairs, and I stopped and said, “Wait! What if we woke up, and we realized that we were still 22, and we were walking down these stairs like when we used to go out, or I was like going to work at that Italian restaurant?” And she said that she couldn’t think of anything worse. And our other friend echoed that same sentiment of disdain. I mean, I can’t think of anything better! Getting 20 years back? Okay, so, obviously, I want my kids, so I’d be kind of teen mom, I guess, but I think I’m #TeenMom anyway, so what’s the diff? I also realized that I live in the past when I saw a counselor a few weeks ago who said, “If you could have a magic wand and be granted three wishes, what would they be?” And I begged to have one of them be to erase a good portion of my 30s. I’d also erase my freshman year in college #hotmess. That, however, was not allowed. They have to be current wishes. That didn’t interest me as much.

I need more me’s.

I also just re-read this, and maybe I need a sedative! OMG.

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