This Week’s Top Five!

1. Playing the game of “raccoons,” (Oh-you’ve never heard it??), the children tipped over the kitchen trash can, and all of the hamster shavings and turds went onto the floor. I almost called Critter Control to exterminate them–the children, not the hamster.
2. My daughter’s bedroom carpet now has sort of a “polka-dotted pattern”– only in one corner– comprised of a varietal of paint stains from when she and her brother decided to make her room an “art studio.” As I lobbed the new Michael’s paints into the trash bag, huffing and puffing, and attempted to launder the carpet with Dial hand soap and toilet paper (that just deteriorated into little white tube worms over the stain), I doled out the consequence that we will no longer go to stores and/or buy toys until school is over. In retrospect, this seems like self-punishment. Goodbye, Target. I will miss you.
3. I used my son as a fashion consultant this weekend to help me decide which dress to wear to a fundraiser. In the end, he concluded that I should forgo wearing a dress at all and instead “buy new clothes that fit.” I am now drinking a Slim Fast shake for breakfast and lunch and very much questioning the idea of “4-hour Hunger Control.” I would say it’s more like fifteen minutes. I’m starving.
4. I got to work and was told my cardigan sweater was buttoned all wrong (as one side dangled longer than the other), and my tank top underneath it is inside out. I’m not surprised, as I got dressed in the dark in three minutes while yelling downstairs, “Get your shoes on! Get your socks on! We’re leaving!” This is not unusual… Most days, we sing “Don’t be Tardy for the Party” as we drive to school.
5. I mowed the lawn for the first time this weekend, but 1/4 has been designated a wildlife conservation area to preserve the white and yellow flowers (#weeds #dandelions) that have grown. This designation ceremony was held right in the middle of my mowing while the kids ran in circles around said area screaming, “NOOOOOO! Don’t kill the flowers! Keep out! Keep out!”
#diet #gardening #parenting #moms

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